How to honor the Goddess inside without breaking the bank.
One of the most important things – and sometimes hardest to accomplish – is self-care. Self-care can mean many different things depending on who you are. Prioritizing self-care as a single mom can be especially challenging. It doesn’t have to include spending an arm and a leg for a monthly facial. If that’s what you want to do, then awesome! I encourage anything that makes you feel like the queen or king you are. For myself, as a preschool teacher, I am on a LIMITED budget.
Before having a kid, I didn’t think much about self-care, I had always done it without consciously needing to set aside time. It’s different with a child, and I’ve learned how important it is to not let it slip through the cracks. You can only tell yourself “tomorrow” so many times before you break!
The last 5 years of being a single parent have taught me a lot about what self-care means to me. I’m going to share with you what I’ve learned and hopefully help you get some more self care as a single parent into your routine!
Our favorite approaches to single mom self-care:
- Find a hobby! Self care isn’t just pampering. Mental stimulation is important for continued, lifelong growth. I can think of many times I’ve told myself that I shouldn’t start a new hobby because “when would I find the time?” While it can be hard to find that time, choose one hobby and make the time.
My top hobbies are dancing and yoga. Often I will take the kids outside and do yoga while they play a few feet away. Start small with things that bring you happiness and a sense of peace.
Blogging also falls under the category of hobby for both my sister and I. While we’d like to eventually grow Frugal Nomad Family into a business, right now it’s more of a platform to experiment and grow. We split the cost to have a babysitter come twice per week for three hours at a time. We use that time to write, edit, post, update social media, do graphic design. Everything involved in running the blog.
Some days when we’re tired it’s a mental battle to get going. However, after several months of commitment, we can now look back on all the work we’ve done with a huge sense of accomplishment. Our readership and social media followers are steadily growing and that feels amazing.
- Make it part of the routine. For example, if you’re at home with the kids all day, institute 30 minutes of quiet time everyday after lunch. You can even buy color coded clocks that turn green when the kids are allowed to leave their rooms.
Maybe your kids get a special activity while you do this, or get to watch a show as a reward for being quiet the whole 30 minutes. After a few days, they will get used to it and you will have that time to do what you please.
If you work out of the house use your lunch break for self care. Pre-COVID, Angela used to spend her one hour lunch taking a yoga class. She’d eat at her desk while catching up on email after class.
- I hesitate to include this next tip under single mom self-care because it’s something we shouldn’t have to struggle for as mothers. Drink enough water and get an adequate amount of sleep. Those two things have a profound impact over how you feel during the day.
I often forget to drink water and it’s something I’m working on. Fill up a reusable bottle and keep it with you at all times. If you feel thirsty it means you’re already dehydrated. It makes a big difference in your mood!
- Dress up! Retire the yoga pants and t-shirt for the week, and switch to some jeans or a cute dress. I love throwing on a dress for the day, they are comfortable and it makes me feel good about myself. Sometimes just feeling like you put in that effort for yourself, helps you put in effort to so much more. It is a domino effect!
- Get outside! Maybe you aren’t the biggest hiker in the world, totally okay. Go on a city walk to admire street art or local architecture, walk around your local park, walk on the beach, or have a leisurely picnic in your front yard. I know my kids thrive outside, and I do too. The fresh air is nurturing to our souls, especially when you spend a lot of time on a computer like I tend to do. Getting outside for 10 minute breaks during the day can be a great pick-me-up!
- Move that body! I know, it can be a really hard one to commit too. Your mind will thank you immensely if you do! Exercising improves our mental health in so many ways, like reducing anxiety and depression and improving self-esteem. Stretching for a few minutes during the day, or taking the little ones on an evening walk, even doing 10 jumping jacks every now and then. Your body feels better, your mind is more at ease, and you will sleep better. What’s better than that?
- “Not” guilty pleasures. What is that thing that brings you a sweet moment of bliss? Since moving to Croatia dessert crepes delivered to my door has been a regular indulgence. Chocolate has always been my bliss. I always have some in my purse for when I’m having an extra hard day, and I don’t care who knows! Sometimes you just need that one thing to remind you to stop and breathe, something I think we all have a hard time remembering.
Final Thoughts . . .
In the end, single mom self-care is doing what makes YOU feel good about yourself. We may be parents, but that’s not all we are and we need to make sure we stay grounded in ourselves. Don’t lose sight of who you are, maybe you aren’t the same person you were pre-kid, and that’s okay. Allow yourself the space to change and grow, it is important for you as well as your child. They want to see you happy and flourishing too!
My mum could have done with reading this list when I was a child, maybe she wouldn’t have been so neglectful if she did. If anyone invents a way to send things back in time, make sure to send this post to my mum, but printed out, we didn’t have internet access in the 80a